The Biggest Loser!

So I was watching The Biggest Loser! I really love this show because it always modivates me. Ya know give you that feeling to want to run, while you are actually all cosey up to the couch knowing you probably won't move a muscle. However, each year it pulls at me. I was so proud of myself last year, last year I was like 60lbs smaller. Funny thing it wasn't a case of letting myself go (or didn't feel like it) but more so I was no longer on my meds. I haven't been on my thyriod meds in months since losing health insurance. I decided today that even if I have to pay full price for the doctors visit it will be worth getting the meds. I have gained back so much now that I think I am bigger then I was prego with my children! I bow my head to say that.... It's a bit embarrassing. Especially for the fact just months ago I could wear pants 3 sizes I swear smaller then what I can wear now! I am at loss.... I am really hoping it's more of my thyriod and the more I think about it the more I am convinced. Everytime I have been able to lose a lot of weight I was on my meds.

So come Monday I am going to the doctor, getting on my meds and I have asked for a gym membership for christmas. I hope I get it :). I really want to change for the better. Everytime I watch these shows and see their final outcome I am amazed at how different they all look. How much life it seems they have now.... I want that too.... Ya know????? I hate being bigger. It makes me sad, it makes me feel ashamed. It makes me feel unnoticed! So hey bring in the new year with doing things RIGHT!